Forever Changed

My favorite blog is Swerve the blog from Pastor Craig at Lifechurch.tv. Most days the topics are about leadership and the future of the church, great stuff. But today, after a week of intense blogs about the future of the church Craig lightened things up with a blog about his kids. This got me thinking about my kids. And the truth is I am forever changed. If I am being completely honest my three make me crazy a lot of the time, three kids under four is a hand full and poor Ange has to keep up with them all day, God give her grace and strength.

Maddox is all boy and almost never slows down. Chloe is mostly mellow, but very sensitive and even though she is the best behaved can be the most stubborn and difficult (she is just like me) and Arielle is the life of the party and in the middle of every conflict. Yes, most days they make me crazy, I think it has more to do with the ages then anything and I know it will et easier (in some ways) as they get older, but they challenge me every day and force me to chose what kind of man I am going to be.

Am I going to be selfish and short tempered, are I going to be gentle and understanding, am I going to be merciful and gracious, or will I be judgmental and hash. I'd like to say that I always reflect the character of Christ in my dealings, sadly that is not always the case. But I am learning.

I have never been someone who cried, tears have never come easy for me, it goes back to something in childhood, but that is another blog altogether, but suffice it to say I don't really cry ever often, or at least I never used to. Ange soften me a bit, but my kids have really melted my heart. I now have a little understanding of what God feels, a glimpse into the Father Heart of God, I now feel closer to the Lord because of my kids. I am forever changed and will continue to be changed and it is a very good thing.

Thanks guys, Daddy loves you!

You Can't Handle The Truth

A Few Good Men is one of my favorite movies. Great story, great cast, and has one of greatest quotes. The story is building to a head and Tom Cruise gets Jack Nicholson on the witness stand and emphatically states "I want the truth!" and Nicholson shouts back "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" It is a great moment. But he is right many time we can't handle the truth and we are more comfortable with the lies.

Many times the truth hurts, when you find out a friend is gossiping about you, a spouse has cheated on you, pick your scenario. The truth that we are more concerned with image than substance. The truth that we are not being effective. There are many truths that are hard to handle.

One of the most important truths that we, or at least I struggle with is our identity in Christ. Maybe it stems from insecurity or a lack of faith, but we fail to embrace the truth of who we are in Christ. We settle for the lies and half truths about our identity and all too often fail to take full advantage of the resources and blessings at our disposal.

Jesus said, " You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" God help me to know and really believe the truth of who I am in you, so I can accomplish all you have for me to do for your honor and your glory. Help me to handle the truth.

My Dream Job

Since no one is reading this I guess I can dream in cyberspace. If I could do anything I wanted in the church world for work, I would love to be an production/environment/series enhancement guy. I know there is no official "Minister or Environments/Production/Series Development" but that is my dream gig.

I come from the era of larger than life concert events, where it was an experience for the eyes and the ears. When you think about it we are proclaiming the most important message the world has ever received and we do it in forgettable ways week after week. In my mind church should be an experience each week, where people walk out saying WOW, I'M COMING BACK AND I'M BRINGING FRIENDS WITH ME!

If we really believe in the message, we should put it out there in a way that can't be ignored. Engaging the senses. I know it can be done better than we do it. We want God to show up and do everything, but we don't give Him a whole lot to work with. We give Him a steaming pile of crap and say, "Do something great with it Lord, Bless it, and change lives."

I recently had a conversation with a song writer and he said something that rocked my world. He asked me how many time I listen to any given sermon/message/talk that I hear. Because I am a freak, I said 5-10 time depending on the topic or teaching. He said that was the same for him, but then he asked how many time I listen to songs that I love, WOW 50-100 plus, and I revisit different songs going back a lot of years. As I type this I am listening to some old music from the early 90's, music that is 15 years old, I very rarely dig out old messages and revisit them like that.

Why? Songs engage us in a different way, they speak to us on many levels, they grab us emotionally, and take us back in time to special moments, they entice our ears with sweet tones that stimulate us, they make our hearts race faster, or they mellow us out. Songs are so powerful and enduring, but what about or messages, or weekend service events? Too often they are forgettable.

My Dream Job would be to try and make every weekend/Series like that song you can't get out of your head. The would be a Freakin' Cool Job!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone Hiring?

Navigation Is Now An Art

My brother used to call me Hondo when we would take road trips. Why? I'm not exactly sure why he chose that name, he's just funny that way. But I was "Hondo, the navigator" because I have a good sense of direction, and if I have a map I can get anywhere, (my skills are becoming increasingly useless in an age of GPS but I digress) so my job was always to answer the question, "Which way do we go?" Now the destination had already been chosen so my job was easy get us from point A to point B. If only it were so easy with the church.

If you want to get anywhere you first need to decide where it is you want to go and second you need to chart the best course to get you there. When it comes to leading a church this can get very complicated.

As the leader you may know where you want to go, but getting everyone to agree with that choice is a challenge, especially when you are dealing with a "churched" crowd. The "unchurched" are much quicker to follow, but the "churched" think that they know best where we should be going. Whether that is based on past experience or what their old church did, it varies, but the challenge remains. Charting the direction of a church ends up being like a family trying to decide where they want to eat. Everyone agrees that they are hunger, but what kind of food becomes the question. And after that is finally decided, where to get it becomes the question. What should be simple becomes complicated and emotionally charged.

In my particular case, I am dealing with a church with a lot of history, 35 years plus, and it has been colorful, which only makes my job harder. I am the sixth pastor in the last 35 years. Which makes it hard for the people to trust the leader's directional choices, because after all after he picks a destination, he will probably get out of the car. So I understand the struggle I face, but I don't have to like it. So there is a struggle for the wheel. As the leader I want to pick a destination and chart a course based on what I feel the Lord has burdened me with, but from the backseat comes a different set of directions.

Rich Warren says that you can teach your way out of any problem. John Maxwell says "P.L.A.N. A.H.E.A.D." So I guess I'll have to do a little of both.

So navigation is now an art, oh for the simple days of "Which way Hondo?"

Here We Go Again

Here we go again, I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing myself for one more try at making this place work. It is an inner battle, this place has so much potential; to see it wasted would be a crime. And the fact that I have invested the last 12 years of my life here plays a part as well.

From dialogging with people with a clue, the problem here at Lighthouse is a stronghold. Now I am not a demon under every rock kind of guy, but when a church has six different pastors in 35 years, one runs off with the secretary, one is forced out, another's marriage falls apart and he resigns, the next two leave in frustration, and the present pastor has a heart attack and suffers from burn out, obviously there is a real problem that has little to do with my lack of leadership skills!

Scripture tells us very clearly that we do not wrestle with flesh and blood but with principalities and powers, so it should come as no surprise that we are dealing with an unseen enemy, but we tend to forget he is there. C S Lewis paints the write picture in the Screwtape Letters, the enemy wants us to forget that he is there, keep us distracted with other things, when we are busy and distracted we let a lot slip by us.

So with eyes open we head once more into the breach dear friends and we will see what becomes of this place. It is a hard battle and I must be a fool for wanting to clean up other peoples messes, but I am a slave to Christ, here we go anagin.

Which way do I go George?

At most points in the journey of my life the next step has always been very clear. About a year ago, feeling burned out and used up, it seemed like God open a door for me and my family. A great opportunity to go into the private sector and live a "normal" life outside of the fish bowl. Ange and I were thrilled at the chance for a better life for us and the kids and then 2 weeks before we were to move half way across the country the bottom feel out and opportunity went bye-bye.

So here I am a year later and a lot wiser, but now totally gun shy about stepping out of my present situation. I even find it hard to hear the voice of God, circumstances tell me to get out of Dodge, I've already given 12 years of my life to this work and have very little to show for it, but then I receive random emails of encouragement from unlikely sources. As the song says, "Should I stay or should I go?" or as the wisdom of the Loney Tunes says it, "Which way do I go George, which way do I go?"

So this is the beginning...

I had started blogging on the old Church website but that was just too much work so I have moved my thoughts to blogger.com